Lessons we're learning along the way...

Hello Everyone,
Right now we are enjoying this wonderful typhoon weather of Taiwan. It feels nice to have a day of rest with your family; not needing to go out and run errands or go to class, but just to rest and be with your beautiful wife and precious daughter. I really like days like this. In Dan Shui it's almost as if the whole town shuts down. If the typhoon is really strong most things are closed and people are scarcely on the streets. It's nice....it's like the whole city takes a break. Praise God for days like this. Allison asked me to update our blog on anything I've been processing or thinking about lately, so that's the main point of this post.

Recently I had an incredible/ horrible experience. You know those times when something happens that is much needed, but man it hurts when it happens? It's like the proverb that says, " Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts. " Blows and strokes; they hurt but they do refine. A couple of weeks ago a loving friend spoke very loving words that at first, in my opinion, were incredibly UNloving to me. I hope that makes sense. This friend spoke some very hard words to me, that I believe God wanted me to hear. Those words are never easy to swallow. I will give a picture of what it was like without going into much detail.

We were having a conversation and something I said was TOTALLY misunderstood(which later the friend admitted that they misunderstood), but that got the ball rolling. This friend proceeded to tell me basically what they thought of me, and how much PRIDE I have. I think the phrase was this, " You are the most prideful person I have ever met." Ouch. I sat their having an out-of-body experience thinking the whole time,"They are right. Absolutely right" I have known for a long time, as some of you who know me may know as well, that I have an issue with pride. It seems that I often forget the gifts and blessings that God gives to me are His and not mine. Why I do act as though all I have I didn't receive? As the conversation came to a close I couldn't say anything. I had no defense because I knew what this person said was true; and more than that I knew that God was speaking to me as well.

Over the next few days I thought about this whole experience. Trying to pick out the parts that were truth and the parts that were maybe built on emotion and exaggeration. As I was praying you can imagine the guilt and shame that I felt towards God. It's funny because for awhile I have been praying that God would humble me, but I was not expecting Him to do it this way. The whole time I was thinking of what a horrible sinner,friend, missionary I was. At the same time I knew that my pride most likely wasn't only affecting my friend but also my wife and my daughter.

This whole post comes down to this point: In the midst of all the emotion, and understanding how much I lack of Jesus' character in my life, I realized more of who God was and His grace, love, and patience towards me. It was as if God wanted to reveal Himself to me during this time so I could understand how great His love is towards me, a sinner. It's funny how God reveals himself to me in a time when I understand the depravity of my heart and how prone I am to sin. It's usually NEVER when I am thinking how great of a person I am and how I've got it all down. I understand more of God's grace when I understand how much I need His grace. So I'm ok with being a man who is not perfect at all, but has issues that God is dealing with. Since I understand that God does not have this expectation on me to attain perfection overnight, or EVER, I shouldn't have that expectation on myself. There is so much more that God has to say in this. The proverbs say over and over that "humility comes before honor..." . Let's seek humility. There is a really popular amazing promise in Lamentations that most of you know Lam. 3:22-23," The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies NEVER come to an end, they are new every morning great is your faithfulness." What an awesome promise, but if we read the whole chapter, which I encourage you to do so, and even the whole book, this promise is in the midst of Jeremiah telling us about God's hatred of sin, Israel's wickedness, and God's hand of discipline on Jeremiah. Amazing that Jeremiah could say in the midst of these things, "YOUR LOVER NEVER CEASES! EVERY MORNING YOUR MERCY IS HERE!"

So I hope that we all can praise God for times of discipline and correction, and see the purposes of our loving,merciful, patient Father.